The Void

[FactorSeven]

After a successful Factions War, I have decided, along with others, to start another story. This story actually takes place before the Factions War. Here is the Prologue. EDIT: My character is Robert, William's father. Young, right?

Prologue
Ah, space. The dark space that never ends. Earth. Only known planet to sustain life. On that planet, were two ferocious nations. The Royal nation. The National nation. Both were heading to conquer the moon.The Royal and National nations managed to complete new space technology. Suits, firearms, space tanks. Anything you could think of.

-----------------

"Today, our nation will stretch far out to the moon, and claim it as ours. Our Astronauts will fight any National threat that roams into them. Good luck to our men." the general finished on his microphone. "We are definitely not done."

[~[L!quiD_S0uL]~]

National nation xD nationalicepsion

[AlphaDawg]

Are the old characters coming back?

[FactorSeven]

(04-07-2012 09:14 PM)insane1254 Wrote:  National nation xD nationalicepsion

xD

And yes, the old characters will be there.
EDIT: I've put thought into it, and I'll actually want new characters in. Like SN0CONE said. Completely new.

[SN0CONE]

I personally think we should not use the old characters, maybe for cameos, but that is all.

So I want a new Yubs out there.
His grandfather/father (however you want to work with it), Richard Yubly, was the original Yubs, he later died by getting struck by lightning. (Or a stray asteroid.)

Private Jack Yubly, a smart, but can be a bit of a fool when under stressful situations.
He is a hardworker and will always try to put in all of his effort, yet he is a bit unlucky and can't finish a job perfectly, only "good enough".

[Jking(laugh)]

Awesome story!

Since its new characters, I would like to introduce Tajik's grandfather. Captain Xedrik von Neisen, one of the first Nationals to land on the moon and lead the assault against the Royals who have set up a base across the giant moon gorge. Xedrik was a very serious man and was a role-model to his grandson Tajik who is now 7 years old. He was very cruel and would never give up. Everyday he would have a incoming call from his grandson and would start having a conversation.

Xedrik led a group of 8 elite National Soldiers who were only called upon special cases.

[FactorSeven]

Chapter 1: T-Minus

The monstrous rocket stood before Robert. Richard, his partner, glanced at Robert.
"Don't worry. It'll be smooth." Richard said.
"Yeah. Of course." Robert glanced up at the rocket nervously and looked back down at his suit. This new technology was strange. The suit was special in filtering gasses and multiplying oxygen.
The elevator door opened. Both Astronauts walked in, and activated the elevator. As the elevator rose, Robert closed his eyes and pictured all of his moments with William, his son. He was only 6 when he left him last week.
The rocket hatch opened with a loud sound, waking Robert up. Both Astronauts joined in with other Royal Astronauts, and strapped themselves in. Robert was given a Spacenight Space, and Richard was given an Omega Beam. Both were said to be powerful laser weapons.
The cabin suddenly shook violently, and an announcer said,"T-Minus 10..."

------------------------------

Captain Xedrik von Neisen. Leader of the National Elite Soldier Team, or N.E.S.T. His Team and him were sent into space along with the first Royals.
"Captain Xedrik, please report to the General's office." a person said in the intercom.
"I have to go now. I'll talk tomorrow, son."Xedrik left from the telephone and walked to the General's office. "You wanted to see me?" Xedrik looked at the General's golden plaque. General Heinrich.
"Yes. I have been told that a Royal force was coming toward our position on the moon." General Heinrich said.
"You want NEST to take care of them." Xedrik replied.
"Of course. Who else would?" General Heinrich straightened his shiny monacle.
"Yes, General." Xedrik walked out of the office and headed to the NEST armory."We have work to do."

----------------------------

"50 feet. 30 feet." the rocket pilot steadied the large vehicle for the landing."And we're here. Good luck, soldiers."
A hatch opened, and the Royal Astronauts raided out, joining a big battle. The terrain was hilly and rocky. Laser rounds swarmed the airless space.
"Follow me!" Richard spoke to Robert over a headset. He fired his Omega at National Gunners in Kosmonaut suits.
"Alright, alright!" Robert ran, or ran-hopped, because of the lack of gravity. Space tanks threatened to blow him and Richard to pieces.
Moon rocks were blasted around the two Royal Astronauts as they took cover in small hills. Robert spotted a Commando and blasted him with a long range beam. The dead body floated and softly landed on the dusty ground. The Royal forces fought hard, but the National space army threw more firepower at them. Royals fell dead, some were blasted off the moon.
The Nationals sent 8 National Soldiers.
"Must be more National Soldiers." Robert guessed.
"Don't underestimate them. They might be the Elite team." Richard fired his Omega at any National in sight.
The 8 National Soldiers began taking down Royal infantry men like sticks.
"It looks like they are!" Richard stopped running. "Run!"
"Damn!" Robert turned around and began running frantically.
Two National Soldiers reached Richard and Robert, hitting their backs with the butt stock of their Plasma Forty-Fives. Both Royals were dragged down and beat.
"No! No!" Robert yelled at the National Soldier. Everything around Robert became black. He had lost his consciousness.

---------------------------

Here's the awaited chapter. I would like some constructive criticism. And, like in the Factions War, join in if you want.

[SN0CONE]

Hmm. I like it! It's great how you already got 2 point of views in here!

I suggest that you could go try to add in more detail of the environment. It feels like
"The terrain was hilly and rocky." Just wasn't enough. Of course, I wouldn't want to see it happen during a battle because battles are epic. But maybe a nice thorough description of the landscape with plenty of details would help paint a better picture.

[FactorSeven]

Chapter 2: Trench

"Ugh.." Robert's eyes opened slowly."Richard? Anyone there?"
No response. Only the ring of his ears, static radio, and hard breathing.
"Damn." Robert held himself up against a perished tank."Have to get out of here. Richard."
Robert walked slowly over to Richard's unconscious body and dragged him for a distance by his shoulders. Robert stopped quickly when felt movement coming from Richard.
"Richard! Wake up!" Robert shook him awake."Come on, we have to get out of here."
"Uh? Robert?" Richard's eyes opened."The hell happened?"
"I don't know. Come on, get up." Robert held out a hand. Richard pulled on it and got up.
"So now what do we do?" Richard stared out, squinting. Hills, metal litter, trenches. Every way had a route. Some routes were blocked by bodies and tanks.
"I don't know. I don't know." Robert really didn't know. His mind went blank as he stared at the terrain.

---------------------------

"Halt." Xedrik held out a held, stopping his squad. A large metal door lay out in front of him, opening slowly. A large room was revealed behind it."Let's go."
Xedrik and his squad walked into the room, door slowly closing behind. Oxygen fled in the room with a gassy sound. All removed their helmets and took a deep breath of new air.
"Feels good to be back again." one of the squad members said.
Xedrik walked through a smaller metal door, squad following behind him. He spotted a telephone while walking through the hallways full of recruits, soldiers, and officers.
"Go on, I'll catch up with you." Xedrik said. His squad walked past him to the NEST unit. Dialing a number, he set the phone to his ear. Xedrik looked up at a large window in front of him. The image of Earth lay before him, blue, and green.
"Hello?" a voice broke the silence.
"Tajik? It's me, your grandfather." Xedrik said, with a smile.
"Grandfather! How are you? Did you do anything?" Tajik asked enthusiastically.
"Yes. Yes, I did." Xedrik played back the firefight he had earlier.
"Wow! What was it?" Tajik asked, awaiting an answer.
"Oh, just a patrol." Xedrik hid the reality from Tajik. He couldn't bear but an image of dying soldiers in the image of his 7 year old grandson.
"Grandfather, do you miss us?" Tajik asked, a hint of sadness in his voice.
Xedrik paused for a moment, then responded."Yes, I do. I miss all of you very much."
"When are you coming back?" Tajik now had a knot in his throat.
"Soon. Just wait, son. I'll be back so-" he was interrupted by a loud beep. The connection had been lost. Wiping a tear from his eye, he hung up the telephone and walked away."I'll be back soon."

--------------------------

"Hey. Hey, I think I found a path. Trench, or path." Richard pointed out a trench lit by light posts. "I don't know. Should we?" Robert had a doubtful look."It could lead to trouble."
"We've been out here too long, we have to take this chance. Or else we'll wind up walking in circles all day!" Richard looked at Robert then at the trench.
"Fine. Let's go. Just keep your Omega Beam ready." Robert said, checking his Spacenight.
"Okay." Richard started walking slowly along the trench. Robert followed, looking at every inch of the ground, low and high, for any hint of a bad signal.
"It's been a long time, how long is this trail?" Robert said, tired.
"I don't know, just keep walking." Richard said, looking forward.
"No, no, no!" Robert said quickly through the radio."Stop, stop stop! Look."
Robert pointed at a moving light, advancing forward in the next corner of the trench path.
"Nationals? Who is it?!" Robert asked, frantically. His trigger finger was trembling.
"I don't know! Keep your weapon up!" Richard said. Even he had a worried look on his face.
Both Royal Astronauts stared at the light with fear, weapons up ready.
"Get ready...keep your weapon up." Richard said as the light was getting closer around the corner.
"Oh God.." Robert was trembling.
The light was nearing the end of the corner.

---------------------------

Xedrik walked past soldiers, officers, and neared the NEST unit. He entered, walking to his locker. He opened it, setting his helmet down in it, and removing his Kosmonaut suit. He dressed in his normal space wear, an N7 shirt, black Soldier trousers, and his black boots.
Before he could walk out of the NEST unit, an alarm sounded, and a voice called "All forces and NEST infantry meet at the hangar."
Xedrik ran back in the NEST unit, opened his locker, and put on his Kosmonaut suit."Damn these Royals never rest!" he said, jogging to the hangar.

-----------------------------

Very sorry for a very late chapter.

[Jking(laugh)]

Very nice chapter Wait was worth it.

[SN0CONE]

Its alright if it's a little late. Your stories are better when you focus on quality instead of quantity.

I got an idea that you could try implementing into your stories, maybe add flashbacks. It could help
with giving the characters more of a backstory. Like how they ended up joining the military, if they had families or such, final goodbyes.
But then again, it is your story, so you should be free to do however you want.

[5KYLAR]

I am sure you do well in school.

[FactorSeven]

Chapter 3: Lost Again

"Damnit, Richard, we can't do it! Look, we can just esca-"
"Robert! Keep your finger on that trigger, or we'll be chased down!" Richard kept his eyes at the corner.
"Fine, but I'm laying back." Robert made a couple of small steps back.
The light had reached the corner, and its source was revealed. A laser was fired.

---------------------

"It is simple, deplete all Royal attackers and do not let a single through our doors. Am I understood?!" General Heinrich yelled through the intercom. A huge voice consisting of "YES, GENERAL HEINRICH" from the soldiers rumbled throughout the hangar. Space fighters' engines rumbled, tanks started.
The whole armada of infantry and armor fled out the huge hangar doors. A hill range stood between the Royals and Nationals. The Royals charged at the Nationals with Gunners at front line, Soldiers behind them, and Commandos spread behind at a reasonable distance. Nationals did the same, but instead stayed at place to defend. A wall of laser fire hurt the front line of National Gunners, signaling them to start their own response. Rocket launchers fired, Eraser Rays were fired at an impossible rate. Without the Royals expecting it, Gunners parted to let the tanks roar toward them.
Above, the National planes fired continuously at the fast Royals. Planes were fired at, exploded, and simply floated away, or fell toward the moon if close enough. The ruined bodies of planes fell on tanks, sent infantry units flying, or crushed them.
Xedrik stayed with his Elite Soldiers at an arrow position, taking down either planes, or Royal infantry. The Royal front lines weakened, leaving them without Gunners.
"Soldiers, advance!" Xedrik yelled through the headset, walking forward along with the front line Gunners. "If it's blue, shoot it!"

-----------------------------

"Robert, run! Jump! Jump! Run!" Richard yelled as red laser fire chased them.
"Do not let them escape!" one of the National soldiers yelled.
Richard turned around, surprising one of the Nationals, and fired his Omega Beam. The National fell back dead, leaving the two fighting more assertively.
"Okay, now we should REALLY run!" Robert pulled Richard forward, and they both ran.
"There! A hiding spot and cover! Go! Go!" Richard pointed to a small hole hidden by jagged rocks.
"Where are they?! Look around, and if you find them, shoot them!" the National leader yelled at the other one. "Damn Royals, always hidi-"
Richard jumped out, wrapping his arm tightly around the National's neck.
"Agh! Ack! Aghh! Agh...agh.." the National stopped protest and fell limp.
"I...I got him." Richard let go of the unconscious National.
"Hey! You!" the other one fired at Richard, the laser impacting his back. He fell forward, not moving.
"Richard!" Robert jumped out, surprising the National, who didn't react quickly to Robert's swarm of laser. He ran over to Richard, and shook him. "Richard! Richard, you okay?! Richard!"
Richard finally moved, and spoke,"I was acting 'possum. You took care of him?"
"Damnit, I thought I would be alone! And yes, the guy's dead." Robert scowled at Richard.
"Relax, we'll be fine. If we can find that trench again."

--------------------------------

NEW CHAPTER WAT.