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19-03-2011, 02:03 AM | Post: #1
RetardRobot 
ello there this is my very first story so I will try it

This story takes place in the Royal Kingdom where the Royal denizens live.

The sky was alit with strange purple colors, meaning that something bad was happening. (I took out the clouds part is that good xx guy or look what do you wnat to be called anywyasthnx)
Reggie the Robot was training hard not to be evil like the scientists wished him to be. He did not want to be a Bad robot, he wanted to help the people.
But then, a explosion came from behind a neighboring house!
Reggie looked behind his house and before his eyes, he saw a monster eating a innocent family.
Reggie ran up and attacked the monster. They battled for a long time, and then he blew up and died and the people came flying out of the monsters belly and they all hugged Reggie.
"Mr. Robot, you have rescued us! Thank you very much!" they all said as they lifted him in the air.
Then, a strange person that looked like a general came to Reggie.
"Reggie, I know about the scientists, and your desire to be good. There's evil going around, created by Dracula. Would you like to help me save the world?"
"Yes-I-do-not-wish-to-stay-here-I-wish-to-fulfill-my-purpose!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"But it will be danger at every turn! Are you absolutely sure?"
"I-cannot-compute-any-danger-for-the-evil-I-was-meant-to-be-does-not-allow-it."
"Then I leave it up to you. Good luck, my friend.
And so then Reggie ran up to the mountain and he would to where the general instructed him to go.



Chapter 1


Reggie the Robot felt a weird tingle inside his hollow body. He did not know why, but it felt like emotions, but he was a robot, how could he feel such things?
Reggie came closer to the peak. WHy did the general want him to go up here? Oh well.
Suddenly, Reggie heard a sloud noise coming from the peak. Reggie rushed up and saw a large dome like house with a weird star painted on it.
Reggie wondered why that was there, but then thought that it could be a base that the general had. So Reggie went inside, and lots and lots of strange machines were flashing everywheres, making weird beeps and noises!
Reggie advanced further, but then heard the noise again, and because he was in the dome, he could make it out more clearly. It sounded like a metal grinding very hard and loudly.
Then, he heard a scream!
Reggie rushed to where the scream came from, and saw a little girl with a small cut on her finger.
"Oh no, please do not hurt me! I can't want that! I didn't mean to touch it!" she said, sadly.
"Do-not-worry-I-will-not-hurt-you" Reggie assured her.
"Um... How... Are you a robot? That is very weird! How were you made?" the girl asked.
Reggie did not want to tell his sad story, so he changed the subject by reaching into his compartment inside in chest. He pulled out some bandadges, and wrapped her finger in it to stop the blood from coming out.
She looked at her bandadge and smiled. "You are a very nice robot!" she said happily.
Reggie suddenly felt a weird feeling, but then wondered what it was.
"What-is-this-feeling?" Reggie wondered out loud.
"That is compassion," the general said as he stepped from behind a fridge.
"..." Reggie could not understand. He was a robot!
"Reggie, you are a very strange thing. You feel emotions although you are nothing but a machine. It is very weird," the general said as he sat down on a chair.
"um... Are you mad at me?" the girl asked.
"I'm not happy that you came inside my place, where is your family?" the general asked.
"... the monsters killed my family..." she said sadly.
Reggie suddenly started to feel his eyes like they were slightly being blown up like a ball being filled with air, and his neck growing tight.
"I'm very sorry... The monsters that Dracula created are very mean. I... I think you should stay up here because if you leave the monsters could kill you too. Now, Reggie, there is a very important reason I made you come to here," he said. He pushed a button and then a big tv screen came down, showing something that Reggie could not even understand, it was so crazy.
TO BE CONTINUED!


I will make more later i hope you liked it can I have feedback? To make the story beter? I'm not done tho so don't worry I cant wait to finish it it will be reaaly big and long!

Thank yiou for reading it I reaaly apreshiate it.

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(This post was last modified: 20-03-2011 04:47 AM by RetardRobot.)
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19-03-2011, 02:08 AM | Post: #2
VonClausewitz 
cool story bro.
whatever...

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19-03-2011, 02:08 AM | Post: #3
rockwave8899
posting in off topic is a start since this doesnt have anything to do with bfh
other then that good start Smile
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19-03-2011, 02:08 AM | Post: #4
RetardRobot 
but its in the Royal Land country.

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19-03-2011, 02:14 AM | Post: #5
rockwave8899
(19-03-2011 02:08 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  but its in the Royal Land country.

we will have to have the judges on this one
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19-03-2011, 02:15 AM | Post: #6
RetardRobot 
ru mad at me?

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19-03-2011, 02:16 AM | Post: #7
xCptxJxLukexFx 
Hey, person with a lower-than-average I.Q., I'm here to make fun o- review your trol- story.

(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  and lots and lots of clouds were everywhere in the sky.

The first sentence was kind of pointless, because you didn't expound on it, nor did you make it significant to the story. The rest of the story was beyond random, and horribly executed. I'm all for making stories that don't make sense in order to make a joke, but you should at least use some basic writing techniques.

Your spelling needs a lot of work. The same goes for grammar.

(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  I reaaly apreshiate it.

I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  Reggie looked behind his house and sawd a great big monster eating people.

I'm sorry, but this will most likely be 'sigged'.

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19-03-2011, 02:16 AM | Post: #8
MapleHeroes 
No, we need some real grammar nazis around here to fix your grammar and help you out though.

I betcha 2 bucks you read or saw my sig.
(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  Reggie looked behind his house and sawd a great big monster eating people.
..........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BROFIST ...........
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19-03-2011, 02:19 AM | Post: #9
xCptxJxLukexFx 
Grammar will not fix the plot, bro.

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19-03-2011, 02:19 AM | Post: #10
MapleHeroes 
And some help with the plot too.


EDIT-LUKE! YOU MIND READING SON OF A B-...!

I betcha 2 bucks you read or saw my sig.
(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  Reggie looked behind his house and sawd a great big monster eating people.
..........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BROFIST ........... (This post was last modified: 19-03-2011 02:21 AM by MapleHeroes.)
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19-03-2011, 02:21 AM | Post: #11
RetardRobot 
ru guys mad and thank yoiu xxxx's guy and maple man

and please dont be mad i hate when people get mad.

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(This post was last modified: 19-03-2011 02:22 AM by RetardRobot.)
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19-03-2011, 02:22 AM | Post: #12
xCptxJxLukexFx 
Based off his sig and the way he's replying, I think this another troll, copying what Nastymann did. Either that, or Nastymann himself.

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19-03-2011, 02:23 AM | Post: #13
MapleHeroes 
Wait, the guy said he was French, let the power of Google Translate help. Be right back!

I betcha 2 bucks you read or saw my sig.
(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  Reggie looked behind his house and sawd a great big monster eating people.
..........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BROFIST ...........
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19-03-2011, 02:23 AM | Post: #14
xCptxJxLukexFx 
His profile was created 35 minutes ago.

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19-03-2011, 02:24 AM | Post: #15
RetardRobot 
im not nasty I clean every day,.

Whats a troll?

oh good translate good idea thank you very very much!

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19-03-2011, 02:25 AM | Post: #16
MapleHeroes 
Vous aurez probablement besoin d'aide avec les autres, essayez d'utiliser Google Translate et la traduire ensuite en anglais, puis copier et le coller. Mais, parler avec la parenthèse en anglais afin que nous puissions vous aider à améliorer.


That's my Google Translate stuff.

I betcha 2 bucks you read or saw my sig.
(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  Reggie looked behind his house and sawd a great big monster eating people.
..........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BROFIST ...........
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19-03-2011, 02:26 AM | Post: #17
xCptxJxLukexFx 
(19-03-2011 02:24 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  im not nasty I clean every day,.

My point is made.

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19-03-2011, 02:27 AM | Post: #18
MapleHeroes 
I'll try to handle it here. It's going to be hard. Since I do not have any knowledge of French or of the French people... other than the fact they used Vietnam as a rubber plantation.

I betcha 2 bucks you read or saw my sig.
(19-03-2011 02:03 AM)RetardRobot Wrote:  Reggie looked behind his house and sawd a great big monster eating people.
..........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
BROFIST ...........
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19-03-2011, 02:29 AM | Post: #19
RetardRobot 
ok thank you mape.

im not from france thou i am a french-canadian.

So cani just use edit and post the stuff and hope it looks best?

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(This post was last modified: 19-03-2011 02:30 AM by RetardRobot.)
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19-03-2011, 02:29 AM | Post: #20
DogieDude1234 
Just to help you out:

Il faut aussi signaler que Google Translate est pas parfait, donc quel que soit votre expertise grammaire française, il y aura toujours des erreurs commises dans la traduction. Mon exemple: ce que je tape en ce moment.

English: We should also point out that Google Translate isn't perfect, so regardless of your French grammatical expertise, there will still be mistakes made in translation. My example: what I'm typing right now.

Check out my story: A National's War Story and Join the Group!


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